Department of Moving Vehicles?

Every now and then, the news is so blatantly effed I feel a need to address it. No, not “address” like a residence where your yearly, car registration is sent—but address, like talk. Talk about the latest Big Brother stranglehold innovation to come down the pike. Or maybe turnpike is a better term, since the California State Senate approved a bill (SB – 806) this week giving the go ahead to create the first electronic license plate.

Part of a pilot program projected to be completed by 2017, as much as 5 percent of registered vehicles in California could find a boot near the boot this very year. What are the advantages? Extra postage stamps, of course! The DMV claims it would save @ 20 million in revenue spent on sending out car registration renewal by implementing this system, though why they didn’t simply extend the period of a car registration from 1 to 2 years is more mysterious. In my mind, that would have also saved the same amount of ducats and avoided this drastic, costly measure, but then, I’m just an idiot consumer.

The computerized plates are able to receive updates about your car over a mobile, data network in real-time, so the likelihood of witnessing the plates on the driver in front of you flashing: STOLEN or EXPIRED is a pending and very real text message. Goodness knows, computers are infallible just like their programmers (NOT!) but even more worrisome than this instant and possibly incorrect designation, is the GPS device with which all these license plates are outfitted. Sure, my congressman assures me my driving itinerary is of no interest to the government, and will only be readily available to the company producing the plates, but I have trouble believing the slimy so-and-so. Fool me twice, shame on me—you can bet if Big Brother wants to know my whereabouts; or even my “been-abouts”, the company to whom this information is relayed will sell me down the river click-of-a-cursor quick. Flush me out like it was their patriotic doody, and while you might argue that as long as my conduct is above-board there’s nothing to fear, I would argue that our rights are so compromised at this juncture in history as to be wrongs.

It is wrong to use facial recognition video cameras without our knowledge, it is wrong to photograph every corner and intersection of a given town, it is wrong that newborn babies’ DNA is routinely stored, and it is wrong that facebook is in compliance with government in terms of releasing arbitrary records of activities…I could go on and on, but the truth is, no one knows the extent to which we are now a nation under surveillance. The door opened by the Patriot Act is off its hinges. From digital trails in the cyber world, to phone taps, to monitored outings in the real world, I say enough. Enough of your Nosy Parker, we’ll-lock-you-up-and-throw-away-the-key—games. It’s only a matter of time before car thieves target these pricey bumper additions as a bigger pay-out than car stereos, but the ultimate price for losing this game of musical cars is still higher. It’s my business where I go, and my business alone. Selling your car is an option, of course, but what’s next?

Micro-chipped Nikes?