It’s been too long,

between the tales,

of Faeries unangelic–

–of ever afters

light on laughter

in places unidyllic…

That’s not to say

those written there

are always the benighted,

as Little Bic–

Lighter Chick

keeps the place well-lighted.

A hapless smoker

she often toked her–

–self an evening Phattie,

bought a Bic,

to do the trick,

and lost out on her happy–

ending since–

–without a pinched–

expression, and some Matches,

her story bored

–the overlord

of

Fairy Tale actors.

That picky dude

was pretty rude,

when cutting her from classics,

but not as bad,

as surgeon that,

altered Beast with plastics,

and while the process,

to slim proboscis,

was Hollywood effective…

The newfound cutie

learned 2 Beauties

altered tale’s objective.

Like Chicken Big,

missed out on Gig,

when diet proved undoing…

The nervous bird,

screamed out wrong words,

at crux of reader viewing…

That piggish hen,

was eating when,

role in tale was callin’

and thus engrossed

yelled out this toast:

“Help, the Pie is fallin’!”

But Piper Guy

was just too high,

to catch the tumbling Torte,

and let the boon,

stand in for tune,

to rodents he deported–

–a tale you’ll not,

observe as plot,

in standard Fairy fiction,

since fallen scraps

increased the rats,

and thereby contradiction.

I hope you got a kicK outta this series. If you missed the other verses, you can catch uo by clicking below. ThanX for coming by. 🙂

(1) Once Upon a Different Time

(2) Roan Riders

(3) Pot-Tea Humor

(4) Happily Ever After-Party

(5) My Fair Cat Ladies

(6) Hey Diddle Didn’t

Ever wondered

what became of

fairy folks disabled?

Facing trials,

beyond the files,

of lesson-teaching fables?

Their stories start

with broken parts,

as in the case of vermin,

whose blinded eyes

helped compromise

their tales & their earnings.

The tales lost

were hefty cost,

and seeking restitution…

Mice authorized

an opp on eyes

as ultimate solution…

And while procedure

surely featured,

machinations basic,

the upshot changed

their story range

to Mice enduring Lasik.

Just as sad,

is tale of lad,

known as Humpty-Dumpty…

Cracked and bruised

the Ova who–

–grew famous being clumsy.

The aftermath

of fearsome crash,

was actually the nexus…

Shattered, battered,

put on platter–

they ate Egg Man for breakfast.

This threw a wrench,

in rhymes entrenched,

particular to Ma Goose…

As Dish for eggs,

had Dish-like legs,

and thus was sorely misused.

No fiddling cats,

nor dogs to laugh,

at bovine jump of moon…

Since laden Dish

’caused Spooning Miss,

to search for other goon.

–a wooden boy

not man, nor toy,

but puppet with computer…

Pinocchio’s

her latest beau,

replacing Plated suitor.

Once Dish was dregged,

with Dumpty’s eggs,

Spoon had little option…

Word of mouth,

says they moved South,

to look into adoption.

 
 
(1) Once Upon a Different Time

(2) Roan Riders

(3) Pot-Tea Humor

(4) Happily Ever After-Party

(5) My Fair Cat Ladies

(6) Hey Diddle Didn’t

(7) Pie in the Sky

More than most,

of times to roast,

the “Almost Was” is present.

The heroes not–

–but zeros what,

looked like prince but peasant,

the quailing spawn

not duck, nor swan,

distinction never lament,

since heroes must

at all times bust

their stones to mimic content.

Not Gold-like Locks

–although a fox

her Blonde was from the bottle,

a Clorox rinse,

to bleach and tint,

her mousy do full throttle,

so occupied

was she by dye

she missed the tryst with 3 Bears,

not porridge hot,

nor just right cot,

suited her like hair-care.

And so it was

the fabled buzz

’round real Goldie’s rap sheet,

was crafted on–

–that Lohan blonde

‘Like Locks went on to Goat Peep’s…

A fellow chump,

Goat failed to bump,

her sister Bo from rhyme scheme,

now paying gig,

along with wigs,

is online selling goat cheese.

A sorry plight

but serves her right,

for egging on Rapunzee,

last month’s trim,

at shop was Grimm,

as Brothers stories summ’ries,

her close-cropped mop

insured she’d not,

find her way to Kindle,

since Make-Believe

is short on weaves,

excepting certain spindles.

What happened next

is straight from text–

but “seams” so not as golden

–as tales that stage,

their starting page,

set in days of olden…

These unwrit gals,

have made new pals,

with cats escaping foxes…

No book deals, either,

since pets feet feature

Pusses wearing Crocs’es.

 
 
(1) Once Upon a Different Time

(2) Roan Riders

(3) Pot-Tea Humor

(4) Happily Ever After-Party

(5) My Fair Cat Ladies

(6) Hey Diddle Didn’t

(7) Pie in the Sky

The ball is through,

the crowd is gone,

the chosen have departed.

There’s finally chance,

for second dance–

to get this party started…

Yes, after twelve

–come other elves

and faeries without tales…

Glow-stick waving,

all-night raving,

folklore Perma-fails.

You’ve met a few

of surplus crew–

but still it’s best to warn you…

These next rejects,

* R rated X *

and just this side of porn, too.

Since some of those

–are anti-clothes–

are nudists without title…

Common Harry’s

ass is scary–

and so are swinging vitals.

Still backward Cap,

won’t take his crap,

& neither will her buddies…

Red Cap is tough,

and felt rebuffed,

when cast as understudy.

She formed a troupe

to fight the lupus

–wars for turf with mob…

In woods to Nana’s

against bandanas

–blue–Wolf wears like dog.

Red’s head of opps,

Has got some chops,

and axes own to grind…

Once whispered diction

–lost him fiction

crying wolf at story time…

His megaphone’s

too late for tome,

but helps maintain some order…

Within the motley

* not-lead gang *

that guard the would-be borders.

But Frog once known

–as Prince has grown!

& jams with Toad from Cally…

Whose Sprocket Wet

–is better yet

when Frog sings aca-pelly.

So let’s rejoice,

as Kermit’s voice,

soothes away injustice…

getting jiggy–

with Miss Piggy,

moves heroes just can’t busta.

 
 
(1) Once Upon a Different Time

(2) Roan Riders

(3) Pot-Tea Humor

(4) Happily Ever After-Party

(5) My Fair Cat Ladies

(6) Hey Diddle Didn’t

(7) Pie in the Sky

It’s been a while,

since “Never Was”

featured in the Muse

though not refined

these Fairy kind

are comfy as old shoes

Not buffed, but scuffed

their souls have holes

too big to count as Windows

thus booting roles

in Hubbard’s sole

if you get innuendo.

As inference is everything

at least it was for Teapot

–a highly septic

plump dyslexic–

Tea never got the sweet spot…

To tout about

her girth or spout

beyond initial reading

since claim to be

>a pot for pee<

was gist of words misleading.

Just as bad

a time was had

by Not-So-Bitsy spider

that mammoth bug

could tow a tug!

stacked ten-deep with riders!

And so it wedged

in spout for hedge’s

–watering outside

thereby losing

chance for schmoozing

children’s story-time.

It took a night

of firefighters–

blasting it with hoses

to clear all eight

legs from spate

meant to water roses

a creeping curse

since fate got worse

the instant bug was free

the Fairy there

quite unprepared

so stomped him with her feet.

No quaking

moppet, she

didn’t stop, until

the smashed arachnid

was spot of grease

and though at peace

to this there was reaction…

No role, for sure

–in Fairy lore

no wheying in from Tuffet

>a-rach-na-cide<

is reason why

this final Fairy roughed it.

 
 
(1) Once Upon a Different Time

(2) Roan Riders

(3) Pot-Tea Humor

(4) Happily Ever After-Party

(5) My Fair Cat Ladies

(6) Hey Diddle Didn’t

(7) Pie in the Sky

It’s time Once more

to peek through door,

Upon the Time that Wasn’t–

at birds & blokes

* and Fairy Folks *

and one-off baker’s dozen.

The ace in hole,

and jolly troll,

that weren’t at royal Foxtrot,

the Bean unbought,

the Big unsought,

the ungrown, Giant dicot.

Yes, little known

to folklore fans,

was Beanstalk brother, Rodney,

whose allergies

to beans and bees,

kiboshed bean-based botany.

–Going on→

to bang a gong,

offered up no remedy,

years too soon!

to be Gong Goon,

for game show in the seventies.

No worse a curse,

than hex that vexed,

Sleeping Beauty’s sister,

a walking napper,

she failed to trap her–

princess self a mister.

It scarcely helped

her slumb’ring trail,

led her to the Bottle,

since Genie in it,

made head spin, and

worsened wiped-out wobble.

And once without,

what Genie wouldn’t,

rise to the occasion?

And this Mage

was filled with rage,

of cabin-sick persuasion,

and so failed

to honor bail

3 wishes precontracted

(a Genius snub,

since she had rubbed,

his lamp as he’d exacted.)

So many more!

were hit by door–

–of Once upon a Time.

Missing mark,

unbooked on Arc,

pared pairs I’ll share in rhyme,

Until such Time

of Never Was,

these Fairies must subsist,

* near the top *

but still just not,

a “plus one” on the List.

 
 
(1) Once Upon a Different Time

(2) Roan Riders

(3) Pot-Tea Humor

(4) Happily Ever After-Party

(5) My Fair Cat Ladies

(6) Hey Diddle Didn’t

(7) Pie in the Sky

We’re all familiar

with the lore–

of Fairy Tale people.

The Heroes right,

the Knights in White,

and Princess in the Steeple.

But that’s not all,

who went to ball,

and found their Ever After.

There was, of course,

another force–

of somewhat lesser actors.

The Fairies that

stood in for stars,

during dress rehearsal,

* close * to right,

but just not quite,

for reasons controversial.

Take, for instance,

the history of–

Central Heating-Ella.

Since blood ran cold,

the tale she told,

failed to make novella.

Of course there was,

her hapless cuz’,

Also known as “Piggy”.

Big Toe∙lina,

Cut from Scene’a,

ate ‘til she was Biggy.

A better fate–

than what awaited,

Princess backing Soy Beans.

the GMO’S–

from Monsanto,

fostered canc’rous breast genes.

Yes, Fairy Folk

in Anecdotes–

must toe writ’ lines or go.

Just ask Soul Patch,

Whose shaved blue thatch,

will never be well-known.

Nor will evil–

elven sprites–

Pogo Stick to fame.

Since Stilts are much–

preferred to Sticks,

If you guess his name!

 
 
(1) Once Upon a Different Time

(2) Roan Riders

(3) Pot-Tea Humor

(4) Happily Ever After-Party

(5) My Fair Cat Ladies

(6) Hey Diddle Didn’t

(7) Pie in the Sky