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The Randoms Singularity

October 14, 2013 by Charron's Chatter 5 Comments

 
Karen Robiscoe dba CHARRONs CHATTER
 

Bad Taste CTA

Band-Aid for the Deaf

Walk to cure Paralysis

Hands across America for amputees

Don’t forget to donate to Alzheimer’s.

 
 
 
 
 
 

audience clipart—clap-art

clipart for truckers = flap-art

clipart for Amish = clop-art

 

X’s & O’s = tic-tac-toe of relationships. Can easily be played by drawing lines in sand

 

If you win at bocce, you’re on a roll…

 

Speaking of rolls: The Eggo Waffle was going to be the Ego Waffle—but they backed out at the last minute…

 

cell-u-lite  (better said) cell-u-lumps

 

countrywide = cowboy’s rationale

 

Have you ever noticed how bad TV is on the weekend? That’s because you aren’t working for the machine, and ergo not “rewarded”. Friday and Saturday are absolute crap…but Sunday….football, gearing up for the work week. Check your local listings an’ see if I’m not right…

 

knowhow & “no” how = phonetically contradictory

 

no it all = party pooper

 
I think the Big Bang theory & the creationist theory can happily coexist. Just imagine God had been playing ball with a particularly volatile ball. He’s juggling it, and 10,000 things, besides, and fumbles, and—BANG!!

Or, for the intelligent design theorists out there: He tosses it…

 
Karen Robiscoe dba CHARRONs CHATTER
 

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Re: Driving Miss Randoms

September 28, 2013 by Charron's Chatter 10 Comments

 

RAY-SUN D’ETRE

Karen Robiscoe dba CHARRONs CHATTER
 

re-late = go-to excuse for tardiness

 

re-count = tell the tale of Dracula again and again (or) Twilight

 

re-port = noise heard when boat hits the dock of the bay

 

re-hearse = for a practice funeral.

 

re-veal = what happens to Veal farmers come judgment day…

 

re-sents = duplicating lost e-mails

 

blow smoke = re-gale

 

My last fiction is my best work writing shorts yet. I haven’t tried riding culottes yet…

 

money woahs = laid off

 

the size zero girl was a little vain about her figure…

 

Hi-way Markers Deconstructed

pissing lane only = eliminate that rest stop

bar pool lane = happy hour lane

loaded parking only = parking for happy hour lane drivers

fist lane = road rage lane

steal plates ahead = tip for carjackers

 
Karen Robiscoe dba CHARRONs CHATTER
 

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Keyhole Randoms

September 25, 2013 by Charron's Chatter 8 Comments

 

Karen Robiscoe dba CHARRONs CHATTER

I seriously have an appointment with a dentist named Dr. Lavity tomorrow. I told the receptionist I was Patient Levity. I assume laughing gas is de rigueur here, as is some banal joke about cavities. BuTT I won’t do one!

Ah-ah-ah!

 

Capital mimicking Creators mimicking Content mimicking Composition mimicking ↓Cost mimicking Music ↓

Trying to revive his flagging music career, Eddie Money tried another avenue. Deciding the production end of cutting an album fit the bill, he released a highly unanticipated collaboration between singing stars: Nickelback & Fifty Cent. On a 45, of course, the A side features a rap/grunge version of Pink Floyd’s: Money, while the B side spins a whopping 55 covers of Lionel Ritchie’s valuable hit: Penny Lover. Selling for around a buck, critics say it’s bigger than sum of its parts.
 
 
So, word has it Miley Cyrus’s outrageous costume at the Whatev’s Awards show will be the big must wear in Hot Slut-ure fashion this Halloween. Forever Blurring the Lines between trick or treating &–

Karen Robiscoe dba CHARRONs CHATTER

trick that’s twerking.

 

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Rotten Randoms

September 23, 2013 by Charron's Chatter 9 Comments

Karen Robiscoe dba Charron's Chatter

serf or surfer, move the “er” and there U have it…

fel-on-knees = groom slip ups (before & after)

poetry = the act of transcribing hard to understand emotion, into hard to understand words.

She was so horse-faced, she walked down a bridal trail instead of the aisle…

She didn’t re-member to pay her dues, and was turned away from the club …

I feel bad for postmen. The writing is pretty much on the wall for their jobs. The Facebook Wall, of course, or an e mail, but you know what I mean…;)

Have you urd the buzz? Vulture Airlines views all its transport as carrion. Passengers say it’s to die for

Karen Robiscoe dba Charrons Chatter

…er…surviving arriving passengers do, and there is always an in-flight meal.

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Random Vices

September 18, 2013 by Charron's Chatter 14 Comments

 
Karen Robiscoe at Charron's Chatter

 

♦ electronic cigarettes – when you’re not really blowing smoke ♦

 

I am so embed with the networks, I could not begin to physically dump them if I tried…

 

the roll of hemp is doobie-us

 

♦ the movie was so bad, the usher’s directive to enjoy it would have been better said: endure it ♦

 

♦ Medusa dandruff = purses ♦

 

♦ My story has been accepted but not yet published. You could say it’s between a Nook & a Hard Place ♦

 

♦ decaffeinated coffee – to not sober you up after you drink not alcoholic beer ♦

 
Karen Robiscoe at Charron's Chatter
 

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Transcending Randoms

September 11, 2013 by Charron's Chatter 17 Comments

 
 

† It’s funny to me when people say animals don’t go to heaven—providing there is one, I would think they—above humankind—would have all four paws in the cat/dog/barn door. Cloven, too. They are never motivated by the 7 Sins, and they don’t break the 10 commandments—except to eat. †

 

† If you set Jesus as your screen saver—he’s kind of a screen savior, now isn’t he? †

♦ If you set Cheezits as your screen saver, however—it’s more a screen savor ♦

♦ If you pick the hunky Old Spice ad guy—Boom! A screen shaver! ♦

♦ But if you pick football star: Joe Green, it’s both a Mean and Green saver ♦

 

† I wondered why they didn’t name the new iPhoneC the iPhonei—as the term: “inexpensive” is such a nice euphemism for “cheap”. But then I got to thinking about the South:

i-phone-i

would sound fairly Old Testament, although it might sell like gird-les in the Bible Belt. †

new-iphonex

 
 

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Al’s Randoms

September 6, 2013 by Charron's Chatter 20 Comments

 

Al never knows when to leave. He hangs out in the hall even after the party’s over.

Al-cohol.

Al is a method actor. He goes for verisimilitude.

Al-be-it

Al weighs himself every morning without fail.

Al-ways.

Al is a true friend. Always helping others.

Al-tru-ist.

Al found the booty, and divvied it up.

Al-locate.

Al’s albino parents never married.

Al-a-baster

Al misses his mountain home.

Al-pines.

Al paves a church parking lot.

Al-tars.

Al is an unemployed egg farmer.

Al-bum-in.

Al is an unemployed deejay.

Al-bum.

Al is too touchy-feely.

Al-arm.

Al has rhinoplasty.

Al-bi-nos

rhino

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