Archive | RANDOMS RSS feed for this section

PC Punch

He was afraid of heights

–a tall man—

this was a problem.

She was afraid of small spaces,

–a dwarf—

she felt uneasy in her own skin.

A long-winded gal

–and asthmatic—

even sigh-lens

was loud

–when she was around.

Cue Anna (randoms)

puzzle_piece_left 

church vandal = saboteur

 

bad brand of pacemaker = im pulse

 

spore radical = intermittent germ warfare

 

vicious purse pooch = hairy carry?

 

bitch cat = female cat

 

asshole cat= male cat? No sire…

 

he had 4 ears. It was eerie.

 

pistachios and shitake mushrooms = crappy food combo? Or spot on peu-peu platter? You decide.

 

how many people live in Minnesota?  A small pop.

 

kneedless—when bursae aren’t important

 

she was educated—to a degree

the M Dash

Birth

when U R Born you’re brand new…a newb…a newbie, and not a new-d, even if technically U R nudie, but U don’t have those tendencies yet. Wait, though, cause then life happens and does a number on that letter…that newb loses its new and becomes just b.

b that—as the years continue to pass–flips around to d, & U seem the same on the outside:

U ÷ flip = U

but not really. Here is the algebra to back that up:

newb(life – new) ÷ flip = d

Death

& U R old…O so old…an ol-d. Not ol-b, though, because then U would just b cheese without vision.

that can be…ah…ranged

rainrain

if it feels like rain, and

you need an

um

brella

make sure it has an

er

gonomic handle,

since that is

uh

tterly the best way to protect your joints!

but don’t get

ah

head of yourself.

 

get a second

oh!

pinion.

check the weather channel out, first.

umbrella_tattered_in_rain

 

Running Randoms

Fish_jumps_4

what’s the best job for an egocentric pescatarian to have?

sell fish

 

you can say what you want about the mafia, but one thing’s indisputable:

A Don Is always good-looking.

 

Sure, Betty’s a wino but at least

Her’coolies are strong.

 

what do you call a mean comedian’s set?

hah-stylings

 

ever wonder why the Bible doesn’t fudge page

666

the way hotels lose the 13th floor?

%d bloggers like this: