He was afraid of heights
–a tall man—
this was a problem.
She was afraid of small spaces,
–a dwarf—
she felt uneasy in her own skin.
A long-winded gal
–and asthmatic—
even sigh-lens
was loud
–when she was around.
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Because Cheezits are Good
April 15, 2017 
Comments Off on Because Cheezits are Good
Hal & Lula were
really’just
disciple’end…
they
refrained
alla time.
Cue Anna (randoms)
December 19, 2016 Comments Off on Cue Anna (randoms)
church vandal = saboteur
bad brand of pacemaker = im pulse
spore radical = intermittent germ warfare
vicious purse pooch = hairy carry?
bitch cat = female cat
asshole cat= male cat? No sire…
he had 4 ears. It was eerie.
pistachios and shitake mushrooms = crappy food combo? Or spot on peu-peu platter? You decide.
how many people live in Minnesota? A small pop.
kneedless—when bursae aren’t important
she was educated—to a degree
the M Dash
January 27, 2016 Comments Off on the M Dash
Birth
when U R Born you’re brand new…a newb…a newbie, and not a new-d, even if technically U R nudie, but U don’t have those tendencies yet. Wait, though, cause then life happens and does a number on that letter…that newb loses its new and becomes just b.
b that—as the years continue to pass–flips around to d, & U seem the same on the outside:
U ÷ flip = U
but not really. Here is the algebra to back that up:
newb(life – new) ÷ flip = d
Death
& U R old…O so old…an ol-d. Not ol-b, though, because then U would just b cheese without vision.
the 2nd Knock Knock Joke
December 6, 2015 Comments Off on the 2nd Knock Knock Joke
Noc-Noc…
who’s there?
Turn off the light, already! It’s night!
that can be…ah…ranged
November 25, 2015 Comments Off on that can be…ah…ranged
if it feels like rain, and
you need an
…
um
…
brella
make sure it has an
…
er
…
gonomic handle,
since that is
…
uh
…
tterly the best way to protect your joints!
but don’t get
…
ah
…
head of yourself.
get a second
…
…
…
oh!
pinion.
check the weather channel out, first.
Running Randoms
November 9, 2015 Comments Off on Running Randoms
what’s the best job for an egocentric pescatarian to have?
sell fish
you can say what you want about the mafia, but one thing’s indisputable:
A Don Is always good-looking.
Sure, Betty’s a wino but at least
Her’coolies are strong.
what do you call a mean comedian’s set?
hah-stylings
ever wonder why the Bible doesn’t fudge page
666
the way hotels lose the 13th floor?
