January 10, 2023 
Comments Off on $ Prices and Values $
thoughts = 1 penny
luck = 1 penny
opinions = 2 cents
nickel = every time
classified information = dime
stinginess = nickel and dime (perversely enough)
phrases = coin (any denomination)
scholar = dollar
phoniness = 3 dollars
questions = 64,000
state of bliss = million bucks
Best things = free
♦
January 9, 2023 Comments Off on Web∙Stir’s Randoms
selfie schtick = everybody’s deal
hue∙morous = the color of funny
win∙terior = seasonal indoor terrain
do∙dull = what you do when you’re bored
Gen re: = the reference generation
bad name for a dentist = Jack Hammer
good name for a dentist = Les Payne
A dentist office should never have the word PULL on it’s in door—only PUSH
in∙se∙fear∙ity complex = when you’re really afraid you’re not good enough
JuJu Bee = good joo joo
Herod = bad joo joo
advice sucks…but add vice is fun!
adverse is bad…but add verse is poetic!
December 11, 2022 Comments Off on Punctuation Matters
If punctuation was animate,
Underline would be that nosy, gossip person
–lurking nearby trying to overhear, and making too much out of things.
Italics would be an exotic foreigner, speaking with an accent, and unfairly favored because of this.
The bolded ones would be fat. Loud-mouthed and opinionated, they would hang out with ampersands: &
Hyphens would be your home-boy, your drinkin’ buddy, and bro’
droppin’ g’s, & comin’ up with the latest slang-thang alla time…
The M dash would be that person who interrupts–in a hurry–to add his two cents.
The exclamation point would take things personally! ‘Would make mountains outta molehills! And twitch! ‘Dropping things from pockets, and dropping more when leaning to retrieve those things!
The period would be boring. ‘Would be a nine-to-fiver, with pens inna breast pocket of a short-sleeved dress blouse.
The question mark would be curious, obviously, perplexed by Q’s, and the philosophical ones would be perplexed by A’s, as well. These would be the long-winded ones, and really? I think that redirection would stem from subconscious resentment of its hump-backed state. . .
and the ellipses would go on and on and on. . .kinda like this. . .not knowing when to stop. . .
Final thought: why doesn’t punctuation incorporate itself into its term?
Example:
a’postrophe
hy-phen
exc!amation point
em–dash
(parentheses)
ellip. . . ses
. . .
et-ce-te-rah
July 4, 2017 Comments Off on Humor to go
Q: why is Chinese food the best take-out?
A: it’s just a wok away. . .
June 25, 2017 Comments Off on Random Tiny Equation
silverware. . .
sometimes it’s plated
which is ironic,
if you think about it
–like saying an
(old)
car is tired,
and sometimes it’s beveled
–which is less funny, and mostly unnecessary–
like a Photoshop filter that perplexes. . .
sometimes forks
have 3 tines,
and sometimes 5,
and I dunno–
I prefer 5 to Trident
so I never gulp it down
by accident.
Sometimes spoons are
plastic,
and sometimes
spoons are silver,
and sometimes spoons
are sporks!!
my favorite kinda spoon–
since we all knows what comes after spooning. . .
forking—
and if you rip open that plastic ware
well, spork you, right?
sometimes knives are
visible,
and sometimes
knives are kept
in back
–usually a last minute thing—
but I prefer
chomping at the bits, anyway
/ to cutting up __
since my farce is often lost
in translation,
and no matter how you do
that math
–you need it to complete the set.
April 16, 2017 Comments Off on PC Punch
He was afraid of heights
–a tall man—
this was a problem.
She was afraid of small spaces,
–a dwarf—
she felt uneasy in her own skin.
A long-winded gal
–and asthmatic—
even sigh-lens
was loud
–when she was around.
April 15, 2017 Comments Off on Because Cheezits are Good
Hal & Lula were
really’just
disciple’end…
they
refrained
alla time.
Charron's Chatter 