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PC Punch

He was afraid of heights

–a tall man—

this was a problem.

She was afraid of small spaces,

–a dwarf—

she felt uneasy in her own skin.

A long-winded gal

–and asthmatic—

even sigh-lens

was loud

–when she was around.

Cue Anna (randoms)


church vandal = saboteur


bad brand of pacemaker = im pulse


spore radical = intermittent germ warfare


vicious purse pooch = hairy carry?


bitch cat = female cat


asshole cat= male cat? No sire…


he had 4 ears. It was eerie.


pistachios and shitake mushrooms = crappy food combo? Or spot on peu-peu platter? You decide.


how many people live in Minnesota?  A small pop.


kneedless—when bursae aren’t important


she was educated—to a degree

the M Dash


when U R Born you’re brand new…a newb…a newbie, and not a new-d, even if technically U R nudie, but U don’t have those tendencies yet. Wait, though, cause then life happens and does a number on that letter…that newb loses its new and becomes just b.

b that—as the years continue to pass–flips around to d, & U seem the same on the outside:

U ÷ flip = U

but not really. Here is the algebra to back that up:

newb(life – new) ÷ flip = d


& U R old…O so old…an ol-d. Not ol-b, though, because then U would just b cheese without vision.

that can be…ah…ranged


if it feels like rain, and

you need an



make sure it has an


gonomic handle,

since that is


tterly the best way to protect your joints!

but don’t get


head of yourself.


get a second



check the weather channel out, first.



Running Randoms


what’s the best job for an egocentric pescatarian to have?

sell fish


you can say what you want about the mafia, but one thing’s indisputable:

A Don Is always good-looking.


Sure, Betty’s a wino but at least

Her’coolies are strong.


what do you call a mean comedian’s set?



ever wonder why the Bible doesn’t fudge page


the way hotels lose the 13th floor?

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