Archive | RANDOMS RSS feed for this section

Random Tiny Equation

silverware. . .

sometimes it’s plated

which is ironic,

if you think about it

–like saying an


car is tired,

and sometimes it’s beveled

–which is less funny, and mostly unnecessary–

like a Photoshop filter that perplexes. . .

sometimes forks

have 3 tines,

and sometimes 5,

and I dunno–

I prefer 5 to Trident

so I never gulp it down

by accident.

Sometimes spoons are


and sometimes

spoons are silver,

and sometimes spoons

are sporks!!

my favorite kinda spoon–

since we all knows what comes after spooning. . .


and if you rip open that plastic ware

well, spork you, right?

sometimes knives are


and sometimes

knives are kept

in back

–usually a last minute thing—

but I prefer

chomping at the bits, anyway

/ to cutting up __

since my farce is often lost

in translation,

and no matter how you do

 that math

–you need it to complete the set.


PC Punch

He was afraid of heights

–a tall man—

this was a problem.

She was afraid of small spaces,

–a dwarf—

she felt uneasy in her own skin.

A long-winded gal

–and asthmatic—

even sigh-lens

was loud

–when she was around.

Cue Anna (randoms)


church vandal = saboteur


bad brand of pacemaker = im pulse


spore radical = intermittent germ warfare


vicious purse pooch = hairy carry?


bitch cat = female cat


asshole cat= male cat? No sire…


he had 4 ears. It was eerie.


pistachios and shitake mushrooms = crappy food combo? Or spot on peu-peu platter? You decide.


how many people live in Minnesota?  A small pop.


kneedless—when bursae aren’t important


she was educated—to a degree

the M Dash


when U R Born you’re brand new…a newb…a newbie, and not a new-d, even if technically U R nudie, but U don’t have those tendencies yet. Wait, though, cause then life happens and does a number on that letter…that newb loses its new and becomes just b.

b that—as the years continue to pass–flips around to d, & U seem the same on the outside:

U ÷ flip = U

but not really. Here is the algebra to back that up:

newb(life – new) ÷ flip = d


& U R old…O so old…an ol-d. Not ol-b, though, because then U would just b cheese without vision.

%d bloggers like this: