serf or surfer, move the “er” and there U have it…

fel-on-knees = groom slip ups (before & after)

poetry = the act of transcribing hard to understand emotion, into hard to understand words.

She was so horse-faced, she walked down a bridal trail instead of the aisle…

She didn’t re-member to pay her dues, and was turned away from the club …

I feel bad for postmen. The writing is pretty much on the wall for their jobs. The Facebook Wall, of course, or an e mail, but you know what I mean…;)

Have you urd the buzz? Vulture Airlines views all its transport as carrion. Passengers say it’s to die for

…er…surviving arriving passengers do, and there is always an in-flight meal.

Al never knows when to leave. He hangs out in the hall even after the party’s over.

Al-cohol.

Al is a method actor. He goes for verisimilitude.

Al-be-it

Al weighs himself every morning without fail.

Al-ways.

Al is a true friend. Always helping others.

Al-tru-ist.

Al found the booty, and divvied it up.

Al-locate.

Al’s albino parents never married.

Al-a-baster

Al misses his mountain home.

Al-pines.

Al paves a church parking lot.

Al-tars.

Al is an unemployed egg farmer.

Al-bum-in.

Al is an unemployed deejay.

Al-bum.

Al is too touchy-feely.

Al-arm.

Al has rhinoplasty.

Al-bi-nos

It used to be handfuls of ice-cream distracting a pedestrian on a summer day. Now it’s handfuls of iScream.

thoughts are worth a penny—ergo, everything makes ¢¢

when you write out the symbol &–can you write “ampers&” ?

 
Tormented by the incessant hammering of a construction crew working in the area day after day, when at last the pounding ceased, she wasn’t sure if she should: knock wood when thanking the Bigger Carpenter upstairs…
 

a bad day being me is still fairly entertaining

aweSUM = awesome, and then some!

if you’re feeling beat up…try to be more upbeat

If you get caught stealing from a palm reader—are you read-handed? Or just in cahoots…

networking is a lot like talking to a friend that never removes his sunglasses

When asked why he failed to score a home run, Isaac spoke slowly, weighing his words: “I don’t have enough balls…What about you Nick?”

If eyes are the windows to your soul—and Bill Gates has a monopoly on Windows—are Windows the portal to your scroll?  Your ghoul?  the outdoors? Why aren’t they eyePC’s?

† angel hair is made from noodles…angel dandruff, from Parmesan †

The Whither Report

intense— intents— in tents

when it’s good, you’re a happy camper

when it’s up in the air, you’re Snowed in…