ERGGG-onomic chair—putting the ouch in my ass since it lost its last wheel.

 

♦ when you get old enough, you start appending ½ and ¾ to your age again ♦

 

prostitutes = more bang for your buck

 

♦ Greek Gods must have had a hella good gym to look so ripped ♦

 

Orwellian =  Oh wellian…

 

♦ it’s hard to showboat up shit’s creek ♦

 

Born Again Buddhist = Deja Vudist

 
 
 

Prah-greS

♦ Pretty soon spelling bees will become spell-check bees ♦

 

♦ instead of an emergency phone call in jail

you’ll get an emergency text option ♦

 

They’ll re-invent the TV dinner, and dub it the “Monitor meal”

 

The new pocket pet will be your computer mouse