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Crossfit Buns

Even as I write this, it’s still far too nice to day for indoor activity, so it was with great and misplaced reluctance that I journeyed to the third stop on my Gym-a-palooza tour: Crossfit Gym. Situated in Santa Barbara’s one-of-a-kind Funk Zone, amid wineries, butcher shops, art studios & restaurants—with plenty of off-street parking just the same—I was still less than ready to get boxed in indoors. Imagine my surprise when I pulled up to see this sight awaiting me:

crossfit first view

An impressive number of fitness buffs still en route, I thought. What was the deal? Were they lost? Loitering? Leaving? I didn’t know for sure, but I did know it was a lot of muscles hanging around outside, when inside is generally the sinewy destination. Confident I wasn’t running late after all, I hurried to join the other folk prepping to do…er…something. Get their cardio on, or leave it at the door. It remained to be seen.

I bet the little girls loved him in grade school! More on this interesting twist later...

I bet the little girls loved him in grade school! More on this interesting twist later…

And seen it was. Felt, stretched, lifted, pulled, pushed, squat & run, too, since the focus of Cross Fit Gym is exactly that. Already in its fifth year, and affiliated with the national chain, its programs & classes are a combination of “metabolic conditioning, weight-training & gymnastic movements”—to quote Level 10 gymnast & Level 1 Crossfit trainer: Naomi Recania-Nelson. Better known as the “Ninja”, the young lady was to lead the class in which I participated…A class that—even before I started its intriguing mix of motion–I knew would be a special treat.

CPR certified, too...

CPR certified, too…

Because we weren’t going indoors. Not after our warm-up run of 400 meters around the neighborhood, and not for the duration of the: W.O.D.–Crossfit’s catchy acronym for its 12 minute: Workout of the Day, which in turn describes the subsequent class instruction conducted alfresco in the temperate breezes wafting offshore from nearby West Beach. The option to attend class within the confines of turnkey Fisher’s Gym is available during the rare rainy day in Santa Barbara–the establishment that works cooperatively with the adjoining Crossfit operation—as well as free gym hours for Crossfit.

That was hardly necessary today, with temps in the high 70’s, and after describing the exercise options du jour, the Ninja supervised the stretching of creaking cores, hammies, & bursae (at least from where I was bending over toward painfully distant toes) before proceeding to the calisthenics. With plenty of squats, push-ups & pull-up reps to choose from—aided by medicine balls & weights for the more foolhardy—it was clear no body part could simply “phone it in”, so I was especially glad to take advantage of my Photo Opp excuse to slack off. No, no—pushes hands forward and demurs—no need to thank me. My lazy sacrifice was all for you, chickens, as I absolutely eschewed a fitter me there, for a phatter post here.😉

I did manage a few pull ups, though--haHA! To a certain JK last seen near a body of water in unspecified locale...

I did manage a few pull ups, though–haHA! To a certain JK last seen near a body of water in unspecified locale…

Laziness I left behind, when the Ninja capped our reps with a 100 meter run, followed by 50x abdominal exercises of choice, whatever pull ups one could manage, without or without the aid of a gigantic rubber band–which was pretty fun, actually–as well as the de rigueur, cool-down stretching session. I had fun whipping this heavy rope around after that, an enormous loop of jute described to me as: “heavy” by one member and: “all of them” by another, when queried as to which muscle group it worked. After less than a minute at these formidable Reins to Nowhere, I was out of descriptions, as well. (or maybe just out of breath!)

Todd says it’s the velocity that gets ya’!

Stephanie & Naomi, aka: the Ninja

Stephanie & Naomi, aka: the Ninja

The Ninja & Stephanie

Stephanie's ver' cool barefootin' tootsies...

Stephanie’s ver’ cool barefootin’ tootsies…

Stephanie’s Stylin’ Steppers

I hope you can feel the camaraderie & sense of community emanating from this wholesome crowd —because they were surely that, as much as they were collectively ripped. It was my best sweat stop on the Gym-a-palooza tour to date, and with a manageable number of 100 or so members, they might need to add a final “Dalmatian” to their spot. There wasn’t one “Gun Show” scheduled among these super-fit guys & gals, making it a nice change from the automaton experience & narcissistic pools some gyms trips tend to feature. Everyone I encountered at the co-op operation was friendly, helpful and unplugged, if you can believe that, in this day of the ubiquitous iPod, and as eye candy goes, you couldn’t order a better looking beach whereon to set up sweaty shop.

Crossfit’s YouTube Channel:, and find them on Facebook!

209 Gray Ave
Santa Barbara CA, 93101

Tyler Medearis- Owner & Head Coach/Trainer. Crossfit Level 1 cert, CrossFit Olympic cert, CrossFit Kids cert, ISSA personal trainer, NREMT-B, MCMAP Blk Belt Instructor.

Phone number: 805-448-4999

Basic Movements Course dates:

Mon 2/18, Tue 2/19, Wed 2/14 630-730 pm(Course Filled)

Mon 2/25, Tue 2/26, Wed 2/27 630-730 pm.(Course Filled)

Mon 3/4, Tue 3/5, Wed 3/6 630-730 pm.(Course Filled)

Mon 3/11, Tue 3/12, Wed 3/13 630-730 pm(Open)


Yoga_symbol_woman copy

Catch you chick-a-rooz on the rebound, when I visit a Yoga studio and get my Downward Dog on…


Gym Dandy

Well what a weekend. As promo’ed, I descended on Spectrum gym like a lithe leprechaun in search of workout gold, and since this gym did business as Gold’s gym for so many moons—and I did so many moons of exercise there–it wasn’t surprising to find a few nuggets of Golden Gluts Goodness left for me to mine.

pull up

It all started with a trek up Machu Picchu. At least that’s what I dubbed the extreme Stairmasters that have upstaged—or upstaired—their clunky brethren of yore in Spectrum’s spacious & varied cardio area.

Stairway to...? You decide!

Stairway to: /————-/ fill in the blank!

I own such a stepper, so I know whereof I speak. These newer versions of elliptical hell spanked their bro’s soundly. Bro code notwithstanding, and all if, ands & butts about it.

interesting native dress

interesting native dress

By virtue of escalator type stairs rather than foot pedals, the machine compelled me to pick up each foot completely from the steps as they cascaded toward me at a pre-determined rate. As if that helped. It was a lot different than the see-sawing motion I usually adopt on Stairmasters, a mutation of intended muscle movement that was absolutely off the table with these rolling bad boys.

Have a nice trip? See you next fall!

Am I there yet!?


Wikimedia Commons: Macchu Picchu, a UNESCO World Heritage Site near Cusco in Peru, Martin St-Amant (S23678)

And while this chicken trip-trip-tripped on them as often as Billy Goat Scuff on Saturday, by Sunday I was an old hand. An old foot, I suppose, though no nearer the Mayans fabled ruins than the day before, and while I’d fully intended to catch a class—if one had been running nearby—I ended up free-styling my visits as was my previous wont.

these look familiar...

these look familiar…

Note the nominal weight...

Note the nominal weight…

Plenty of class-purtunities tomorrow, or at GVAC, the gym I’ll visit next weekend (and by next weekend I mean thereabouts) so I felt none too guilty about focusing on weight training and Nautilus machines for the balance of both these trips. Mainly because employing the refrigerator door as a way to work my lateral obliques isn’t optimum, and besides. Even with the icebox option, I have no “ab rippers” or “butt pulverizers” or “thigh-po-section suctionators” like Spectrum featured. Why, they even had a machine that measured my weight and BMI in alien caloric units. Just look!

BMI use copy

I’m a virtual waif! A stiff breeze would knock me over with a feather, but not my determination. You can’t measure that in pounds, and if you want to keep losing a few of yours, keep an eye out—and an arm curled—for the next installment in the Gym-a-palooza series. It’s listed as a sub-cat of the Santa Barbara Beautiful category. Until then, I advise you to ice it, wrap it, put it up, & stay off of it.

Spectrum Amenities: Spacious locker rooms, walk-in showers/rainstorms, full toiletries & sauna, complimentary pots of gold, lounge area, child-care, pixie dust & muscle building supplements, private trainers, leprechauns & full range of aerobic, yoga, pilates, kickboxing, tulip tippy-toeing, Zumba & spinning classes. Nautilus and cardio machines as noted above, though no Rainbow Bridge.

Spectrum Locations (SB)

3908 State St
Santa Barbara
(805) 563-8700

21 W Carrillo St
Santa Barbara
(805) 965-0999


Spectrum 3 Day Guest Pass



The January Jellies

The holidays are over all right, but it seems they’ve left something behind. An extra bun or 2 on my behind, and while I’m as big a fan as any of “junk in the trunk”, at a bird-boned 5’7, that junk just don’t fit.

junk in trunk

No recourse but to get fit, and to that end I’m rolling out the yoga mat here at CHARRON’s CHATTER. The Advil & Ace bandages, too, ’cause this summer chicken is heading back to the gym, and since I know such an endeavor is undoubtedly on your to-do list, too, I’m inviting you to join my venture virtually. That’s right! I’ve got coupons, so it’s all about gym review/armchair warrior style!

versatile lifter

Beyond the discount book & seasonal flab,, it’s people energy that impels me to visit not one, but several of the modern-day torture chambers in my Goldilocks effort to find one that’s “just right”. One with “skinny” mirrors & “light” scales & “cute” guys, and if you want to know whether this Gem of a Gym proves to be local, national, or purely fictitious, you’ll just have to lace up daily. Or bi-weekly. At the very least, monthly, as I’ll be posting reviews in one of those 3 time frames, contingent on follow through. (wink-wink, and hit the snooze button already)


My coupon clipper showcases 6 different gym specials, and since each facility features a different area of focus or amenity, I plan to hit, lift, jump, pump or run at all six of ‘em. Regulations permitting, I’ll even embellish my reviews with ridiculous pictures of myself sweating to the Oldies…Trying everything from rock-climbing at the Santa Barbara Rock Gym, to swimming & steaming at Goleta Valley Athletic, to a spectrum of exercise classes offered by the aptly named: Spectrum gym. The gym I’ve picked to begin…again.

golds gym

Spectrum née Gold’s gym is my former go-to workout emporium, and as such, remains nearest and dearest my heart. My physical location, too, and at this stage of the January Jellies, easy Axxess is no small consideration. Join me early next week to read a few words to the wise, when my review covering this weekend’s excursion to Spectrum will post.


Featuring discounts from: Spectrum, GVAC, CrossFit, SB Rock Gym, Yasa & Montecito Yoga(s).

Now let’s get physical!

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