Archive | NEVER AFTERS RSS feed for this section

Pot-tea Humor

November 2, 2013 by Charron's Chatter 2 Comments

 
Karen Robiscoe dba Charrons Chatter

It’s been a while

since “Never Was”

featured in the Muse

though not refined

these Fairy kind

are comfy as old shoes

Not buffed, but scuffed

their souls have holes

too big to count as Windows

thus booting roles

in Hubbard’s sole

if you get innuendo.

 
 

As inference is everything

at least it was for Teapot

—a highly septic

plump dyslexic—

Tea never got the sweet spot…

To tout about

her girth or spout

beyond initial reading

since claim to be

> a pot for pee <

was gist of words misleading.

 
 

Just as bad

a time was had

by Not-So-Bitsy spider

that mammoth bug

could tow a tug!

stacked ten-deep with riders!

And so it wedged

in spout for hedge’s

—watering outside

thereby losing

chance for schmoozing

children’s story-time.

 
 

It took a night

of firefighters—

blasting it with hoses

to clear all eight

legs from spate

meant to water roses

a creeping curse

since fate got worse

the instant bug was free

the Fairy there

was unprepared

so stomped it with her feet.

 
 

No quaking

moppet, she

didn’t stop, until

the smashed arachnid

was spot of grease

and though at peace

to this there was reaction…

No role, for sure

—in Fairy lore

no wheying in from Tuffet

> a-rach-na-cide <

is reason why

this final Fairy roughed it.

©Karen Robiscoe

Karen Robiscoe dba Charrons Chatter
 
My Fair Cat Ladies
Roan Riders
Happily Ever After Party
Once Upon A Different Time
Hey Diddle Didn’t
Pie in the Sky

NEVER AFTERS
, , ,

Pie in the Sky

October 5, 2013 by Charron's Chatter 4 Comments

 
 

It’s been too long

between the tales

of Fairies unangelic,

of ever afters

light on laughter

in places unidyllic…

That’s not to say

those written there

are always the benighted,

as Little Bic—

Lighter Chick

keeps the place well-lighted.

 
 

A hapless smoker

she often toked her—

self an evening Phattie,

bought a Bic

to do the trick

and lost out on her happy—

ending since

without a pinched—

expression, and some Matches,

her story bored

—the overlord

of Fairy Tale actors.

 
 

That picky dude

was pretty rude

when cutting her from classics,

but not as bad

as surgeon that

altered Beast with plastics,

and while the process

to slim proboscis

was Hollywood effective,

the newfound cutie

learned 2 Beauties

altered tale’s objective.

 
 

Like Chicken Big

missed out on Gig

when diet proved undoing,

the nervous bird

screamed out wrong words

at crux of reader viewing,

that piggish hen

was eating when

role in tale was callin’

and thus engrossed

yelled out this toast:

“Help, the Pie is fallin’!”

 
 

But Piper Guy

was just too high

to catch the tumbling Torte,

and let the boon

stand in for tune

to rodents he deported,

a tale you’ll not

observe as plot

in standard Fairy fiction,

since fallen scraps

increased the rats

and thereby contradiction.

Karen Robiscoe dba CHARRONs CHATTER

©Karen Robiscoe

 

Have more fun with “One Off’s”! Click any link below to explore “Never After’s”..:)

My Fair Cat Ladies
Roan Riders
Happily Ever After Party
Once Upon A Different Time
Hey Diddle Didn’t

NEVER AFTERS
, , ,

Hey Diddle Didn’t

August 29, 2013 by Charron's Chatter 10 Comments

 
 

Ever wondered

what became of

fairy folks disabled?

Facing trials

beyond the files

of lesson-teaching fables?

Their stories start

with broken parts

as in the case of vermin,

whose blinded eyes

helped compromise

their tails & their earnings.

 
 

The tails lost

were hefty cost,

and seeking restitution…

Mice authorized

an opp on eyes

as ultimate solution…

And while procedure

surely featured

machinations basic,

the upshot changed

their story range

to Mice enduring Lasik.

 
 

Just as sad

is tale of lad

known as Humpty-Dumpty,

cracked and bruised

the Ova who

grew famous being clumsy.

The aftermath

of fearsome crash

was actually the nexus…

Shattered, battered

put on platter—

they ate Egg Man for breakfast.

 
 

This threw a wrench

in rhymes entrenched

particular to Ma Goose…

As Dish for eggs

had Dish-like legs

and thus was sorely misused.

No fiddling cats,

nor dogs to laugh,

at bovine jump of moon…

Since laden Dish

’caused Spooning Miss,

to search for other goon.

 
 

—a wooden boy

not man, nor toy,

but puppet with computer…

Pinocchio’s

her latest beau,

replacing Plated suitor.

Once Dish was dregged

with Dumpty’s eggs

Spoon had little option…

Word of mouth

says they moved South,

to look into adoption.

©Karen Robiscoe

1 spoon
 

(modified) sketch by by André Koehne. Wikimedia Commons

 

Have more fun with “One Off’s”! Click any link below to explore “Never After’s”..:)

 
My Fair Cat Ladies
Roan Riders
Happily Ever After Party
Once Upon A Different Time
Pie in the Sky

NEVER AFTERS

%d bloggers like this: