Tag Archives: funny

All Things Being Equal

booksmall
 

x(10) + 2 = a dozen Christian fanatics

 

is + Lam = you’d think they’d get along with Christians

 

Boo + diss = disputing the existence of ghosts, they believe in reincarnation

 

b(Hindu) = dwells on past mistakes

 

Confusion-ism = just rules to make sense of it all

 

Jewish = envy

 

spirit·U·al + l = spirit U all = best

 

Tomato * To-maht-oh…it’s still Ketchup

 smiley_think

the very best things

in life are free

–except there’s no free lunch

’cause talk is cheap

when out to eat,

while money talks a bunch…

a shoulder shrug,

will oust that bug

–closed mouths are free of flies,

not briny wine,

but honey, fine,

will tempt them from the sky…

since more is merry,

but so contrary,

to company of two,

as trios crowd,

I’ll say

>aloud<

opposing what I do…

but that’s all good!

it’s understood,

that opposites attract…

still matching birds,

are much preferred,

when flocking in a claque.

oh, what the hell

(a road paved swell)

good turns deserve their kind,

I’ll beat my drum,

despite the thrum,

of great, conforming minds…

Inquisitive’s

the way I live,

this cat has lives of nine,

I’ll

…hesitate…

but won’t be late

and run to make up time.

in absence grows,

the reddest rose,

while ‘out-of-sight forgets…

the dog-eared book,

that’s worth a look,

to folks in better dress….

You’re not too old

to learn anew,

though curs of age are fixed,

since knowledge learned,

has danger curve,

while ignorance is bliss…

List of conflicting adages I employed to make up this ditty.

The best things in life are free

There’s no such thing as a free lunch.

Talk is cheap

Money talks.

A closed mouth catches no flies

You catch more flies with honey than vinegar.

The more, the merrier

Two’s company; three’s a crowd.

Do as I say, not as I do

Actions speak louder than words.

Opposites attract

Birds of a feather flock together

The road to hell is paved with good intentions

One good turn deserves another.

March to the beat of your own drummer

Great minds think alike.

Curiosity killed the cat

Cats have nine lives.

Haste makes waste

He who hesitates is lost.

Absence makes the heart grow fonder

Out of sight is out of mind.

Clothes make the man

You can’t judge a book by its cover.

You’re never too old to learn

You can’t teach an old dog new tricks.

A little knowledge is a dangerous thing

Ignorance is bliss.

Common Cents

coins_2

if any-any

thoughts were pennies,

you bet I’d think a lot,

& Sparkletts jars,

would board this bard,

just on second thoughts.

If nickels rained,

for every bane,

that finds itself repeating,

I’d play the slots–

*4-nickel pots*

because I’m kind of greedy.

If dropping dimes,

amassed in time,

I’d gladly be the fodder

with secrets told,

I’d roll like gold–

those dimes until they’re dollars.

Yes, at all costs,

I’d balance books,

and turn clichés around…

with bottom dollar,

& prudence proper,

& pennies for a pound.

©Karen Robiscoe

the Nanny Diaries

pops in

what if Mary Poppins

crashed a different family

on western range

would that then change

the practice of that nanny?

what if that

umbrella’d gal

wafted down in Super Cal

with PABA spoons

and surfing tunes

in place of rhymes banal?

& what if Poppins

also dropped in

amid a brood of outlaws

would Billie’s Kid

contain his Id

with fragilistic chalk draws?

Could spoons of sweet

de-spur his feet

and expial his docious?

would banks keep bucks

and sweeps lose luck

if Poppins

were precocious?

 

 

 

 

…and that’s how cars are made, Timmy

hand_cart

Mustang liked Pinto

like primer likes paint

drove to a drive in

4 Ford-able date

piston to cylinder

both a V-8

4 on the floor

made 16x great

and RPM later

the Pinto Gas-Tate

upset the muscle

as after the wait

offspring was hybrid

but MPG great. hand_cart

a beetle bug

and monster truck

thought they’d

have a little fun

revving motors

connecting plugs

then after sparks

a Baja Bug!

hand_cart

 iPhone

had a bone

to pick

with mobile scheming

staged a meet

with GMC

boom! A Smart Car preemie…

hand_cart

Car-en Robiscoe .;)

Junk Drawer Randoms

 

 mouse

 

your cursin’•ality = online personality

 

be the meme you want to see in the world

 

space out = fugue’outta’about it

 

he only had a mild case of Tourettes—prone to interrupt himself intermittently with strings of G-rated exclamations, such as: “Go Tuck Yourself In” & “Cheeze & Rice“, & “your mother is a bore!” for no good reason…

 

I turned on my PC, iPod, and iPad→to boot

 

tic talk = Tourette’s syndrome

tick talk = Lyme disease symposium

ticked talk= diatribe

alarmclock04

 

if jackets matched the man:

green = master

orange vest = get out, get out now

turncoat = traffic cop

slicker = sponge

trench = ditch digger

dust(y)jacket = bookworm

down = football player

windbreaker = chronic farter

fur = murderer

Karen Robiscoe dba CHARRONs CHATTER

mouse cartoon by me

nonsense by me as well, obviously