Well what a weekend. As promo’ed, I descended on Spectrum gym like a lithe leprechaun in search of workout gold, and since this gym did business as Gold’s gym for so many moons—and I did so many moons of exercise there–it wasn’t surprising to find a few nuggets of Golden Gluts Goodness left for me to mine.

It all started with a trek up Machu Picchu. At least that’s what I dubbed the extreme Stairmasters that have upstaged—or upstaired—their clunky brethren of yore in Spectrum’s spacious & varied cardio area.

Stairway to: /————-/ fill in the blank!

I own such a stepper, so I know whereof I speak. These newer versions of elliptical hell spanked their bro’s soundly. Bro code notwithstanding, and all if, ands & butts about it.

interesting native dress

By virtue of escalator type stairs rather than foot pedals, the machine compelled me to pick up each foot completely from the steps as they cascaded toward me at a pre-determined rate. As if that helped. It was a lot different than the see-sawing motion I usually adopt on Stairmasters, a mutation of intended muscle movement that was absolutely off the table with these rolling bad boys.

Am I there yet!?

Wikimedia Commons: Macchu Picchu, a UNESCO World Heritage Site near Cusco in Peru, Martin St-Amant (S23678)

And while this chicken trip-trip-tripped on them as often as Billy Goat Scuff on Saturday, by Sunday I was an old hand. An old foot, I suppose, though no nearer the Mayans fabled ruins than the day before, and while I’d fully intended to catch a class—if one had been running nearby—I ended up free-styling my visits as was my previous wont.

these look familiar…

Note the nominal weight…

Plenty of class-purtunities tomorrow, or at GVAC, the gym I’ll visit next weekend (and by next weekend I mean thereabouts) so I felt none too guilty about focusing on weight training and Nautilus machines for the balance of both these trips. Mainly because employing the refrigerator door as a way to work my lateral obliques isn’t optimum, and besides. Even with the icebox option, I have no “ab rippers” or “butt pulverizers” or “thigh-po-section suctionators” like Spectrum featured. Why, they even had a machine that measured my weight and BMI in alien caloric units. Just look!

I’m a virtual waif! A stiff breeze would knock me over with a feather, but not my determination. You can’t measure that in pounds, and if you want to keep losing a few of yours, keep an eye out—and an arm curled—for the next installment in the Gym-a-palooza series. It’s listed as a sub-cat of the Santa Barbara Beautiful category. Until then, I advise you to ice it, wrap it, put it up, & stay off of it.

Spectrum Amenities: Spacious locker rooms, walk-in showers/rainstorms, full toiletries & sauna, complimentary pots of gold, lounge area, child-care, pixie dust & muscle building supplements, private trainers, leprechauns & full range of aerobic, yoga, pilates, kickboxing, tulip tippy-toeing, Zumba & spinning classes. Nautilus and cardio machines as noted above, though no Rainbow Bridge.

Spectrum Locations (SB)