Tag Archives: satire

Tastes like Chicken

>>> Peachfish Magazine <<<<

dentist

Dr. Hamfist

Damn, he’s good-looking. Twisting cinnamon-flavored floss through his veneers, Dr. Suave’s admiration flicks from his blindingly white teeth to the ripple of sinew in the muscles of his spray-tanned forearms. Rings glint from every one of his fine, slender fingers—healing hands, Mother calls them—and sparkle pin-points of reflected light in the vanity mirror above the spit sink. A cosmetic dentist of the first order, he above most knows the importance of good dental hygiene; particularly for the handsome, as Dr. Suave himself was, and—

bzzz—bzzz

     “They’re waiting for you on 3, Doctor.” a tinny voice chirps from the corner of his fashionably upturned lab jacket. He ignores the plastic pager, carefully working the weathered strip through the back set of molars before dropping the string to the floor. Smoothing an errant hair, he smiles at his reflection, locating and pushing the neon green button by feel rather than looking away from the mirror.

“Did you reserve the two o’clock Tee time for me this afternoon at Privileged Putts?” he asks his collar, turning to view his profile from the left.

“Of course, Doctor Sub-Par.” the disembodied voice replies.

“Did you pick up my Armani from the cleaners?” his head swivels to the right.

“It’s been addressed, Dr. Squeaked-By. They’re ready for you on 3.” Dr. Suave frowns for just a moment, Botox preventing this foolishly impulsive expression from marring his visage. The new receptionist would have to work on her ass-kissing skills…

 Charrons Chatter dba Karen Robiscoe

     Intrigued? Wanna drill a lil’ deeper? Get a lil’ gassed? Not to worry. You don’t have to schedule a tooth-scraping appointment to experience all the fun of a trip to the dentist. You do not. Just click the following link

>>> Peachfish Magazine <<<<

to buy the rest of this story, and a cornucopia of others. (Just don’t get the cornucopia in your teeth) That’s right, blo-O-peeps, and peeps of a blog-free nature, my short fiction: Dr. Hamfist has been pressed, polished, published, and placed in waiting web-sites everywhere, or at least the above URL, and is ready for purchase. Available in digital format as well as print, Dr. Hamfist is accompanied by such fine titles as: Someone Else Wrote This One, and Not by Me, and relies on the universal yuks that all root canals bring to mind, while exploring the outer reaches of gum, too.

Yours for the price of a coupla’ lattes, it would mean a LATTE to me if you bought it. It might even afford me a parking pass next trip to tooth doc, and if you buy 2, I could close escrow on that house in the Bahamas.

Dig deep, buy 3, and I promise it will hurt less than an actual trip to Dr. Hamfist.

>>> Peachfish Magazine <<<<

Back With the Wind

birdee

Once upon a movie, morphing,

into reel and change important

many a disappointing endings I’d seen before

there projecting, plot rewriting, a better line for Rhett—uniting

southern belle and he, despite propensity to be a boor,

To turn on heel and close the door,

To give a damn, and nothing more.

 
 

Succinctly I rephrased, final words to leave unscathed

their Dixie land Union to wedded bliss, and end their war,

Eagerly applied erase—white out, too, to wipe all trace

from the film and so replace—the fallen face that Scarlett wore

the spoiled and crimson maiden whom the populace called a whore,

Nameless here for evermore.

 
 

Hack (I was) to alter script– utterance, by Rhett, the dick

lines the Author chose that left poor Scarlett on the floor,

Retelling and reshaping, endings glad at final taping,

thereby changing, and replacing final sense of great dolor,

to viewers choice, it was no chore,

to regale Wind at least once more.

 
 

By that edit at couple’s parting, I guaranteed a sequel starting,

with counseling and compromise unlike before,

perception checking every time, something irked or someone whined,

teaching them to heed the signs—of discontent the other stored,

to shut their beaks when shutting would restore accord,

Quoth the Rewrite: evermore.

©Karen Poe-biscoe

daily prompt: Inside my favorite movie

I recently disabled the LIKE widget from this site since I haven’t the time to do the reciprocal blog visits. (big schedule change) If, however, you find anything to your liking here, you can let me know by clicking the star bar, and/or creating pingbacks. I appreciate the support.


%d bloggers like this: