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Hello, kidrows…rows of kids…blogg-ettes & blogg-ers…punchers of keys, clocks, and drinX…

Just a note to encourage one and all to swing by Meat for Tea–A Valley Review, wherein a recent publication of mine is–ahh–publicated. Yes, in PDF, print, and pretty colors, my essay:

Knockin’ on Heaven’s Door is available for purchase and bird cage liner right at this very moment!

What? You still here?  G’wan then…have a click over and check out this awesomely named journal with discerning taste–I mean–they use meat for tea, don’t they?

(they do)

All jestin’ aside. Your support is much appreciated, as writing levees an unseen toll on a writer that goes far beyond the cost of ink cartridges.

(The number#2 pencils, alone!)

Print

click to surf over.

 
And here’s the link to latest publication: PMS Diatribe, featured in Blue Crow Journal, issue # 4. A short story with a humorous bent, it keeps company with several other fine artists’ works. I appreciate anyone who buys it. M-W-A-H.

 

Karen Robiscoe dba CHARRONs CHATTER

Tossed & Found

This was originally published in an anthology Dark Light 3, by CH & BB LLC, May 2012

↓ Bouquet I found when walking the other day that inspired the short fiction: Tossed & Found ↓

Bouquet I found when walking the other day that inspired the short fiction: Tossed & Found

It’s a perfect day to visit Momma. Trouble is, it’s also a perfect day to be outside. Outside enjoying herself, not sifting through a bunch of dead memories with Momma, but if Luanne walks over instead of driving, she can get the best of both worlds. It’s only a couple miles up the road—and through an intersection, but a T-bone intersection her route would zig-zag across—and you never know. She might find some flowers on the wayside that would be nice enough to stand-in for a store-bought bouquet. Even when she doesn’t feel like dropping by, she never goes to Momma’s empty-handed, not even once, because Luanne’s a good girl. A thoughtful girl, with old-school manners who just happens to be a little cash poor lately.

You can’t beat Indian Summer. Pulling shut the screen door behind her, she cuts across her patchy front lawn. Also known as half-withered grass & half-dirt, but what could she do? The city’s been on water restriction for months, now, and rolling a Chapstick across her nose and under her eyes, she looks up for scenic relief, breathing the scent of eucalyptus deep into her lungs. The canopy of trees studding her quiet block (and half of the next) shuts out most of unseasonably strong September sun, but the rest of the way is less shaded. Lord knows, you can’t use too much sunscreen, anymore, what with global warming and all, and—her thoughts screech to a halt. Is it still okay to call a hot September Indian Summer? She tries but can’t remember the correct term for Native Americans, and after a minute, finds herself thinking about the horror flick she watched last night, instead. Now that was a good movie. A proper, cowboys, Indians and axe-murderers reel. What was it called again? The Grim West? The Western Reaper?

Her California neighborhood is rural enough to walk in the middle of the street clear up to the thoroughfare, and this is exactly where Luanne walks. The frustrated parade star inside likes the feeling of ownership that comes with her central, promenading position—or maybe it’s the latent rebel—and own it she does, at least until she spies a cluster of daisies growing roadside. Growing on the sidewalk side of grass, too, instead of the lawn side, making them public property as far she’s concerned, and entirely up for finding and keeping. Her step quickens as she envisions the magazines she could buy at the Piggly-Wiggly instead of wasting money on flowers. Flowers that would just droop and die unappreciated anyway, on account of Momma’s lack of discernment, these days. When she reaches the curb and bends to pluck the daisies, though, she hesitates.

At the last second, her questing fingers skip over the loves-me, loves-me-not blooms, and enwrap a discarded scrap of rolled grey satin. Satin that in turn enwraps…a bouquet? Are those petrified petals really a bouquet? She grabs the curiosity and stands in one fluid motion. Fingertips test faux pearl hat pins that anchor the arrangement in place. It feels oddly cool to the touch—practically refrigerated, really—and with a quick glance around, she impulsively decides to keep the weathered treasure, the daisies forgotten.

At the top of the block, she turns right and left in rapid succession. Her route picks up on the other side of the cross street, and while she loses the tree canopy, she gains a shadow, so it’s a reasonable exchange. She likes her ephemeral double, and humming the melody to: Me & My Shadow, she switches between watching it, and examining the creped petals. This stretch of road is always the quietest; rendered so by the myriad traffic laws specific to the church, elementary school and Christian youth center that triangulate the next half mile, and the ambient birdsong and Kepler-effect of exercising in the heat lulls her into a dreamy contemplation.

Why would a woman toss away such a carefully put together bouquet? The socially aware Luanne judicially adds “or man” to her mental query, but it’s a half-hearted addition—the delicate spray is so clearly feminine—and the stretch limo rolling through her imagination right now showcases a womanly forearm distended in disdain. She must have been angry, Luanne decides, and as the flowers soar to join tin cans rattling from the pretend limousine’s bumper, she wonders if it was a bridal bouquet. Probably too small for that. The cans disappear from her mental imaging as she waves to the crossing guard stationed at the cross-walk outside the school.

“No, no. Not crossing over,” Luanne calls out, relieving the orange-vested woman standing at attention from imminent duty. When the flowers incorporate into her walking shadow on the upswing, she mimics the Statue of Liberty’s pose.

Concentrating on her projections—physical and otherwise– she holds the stiffened blooms at different angles. She’s an Olympic torch-bearer, now. (Maybe the bouquet was part of an award ceremony.) She cradles them, fluttering her fingertips at the cement. (Maybe it was a beauty contest bunch. They’re awfully modest for that, but they might have been for second place. That would certainly explain their ignoble disposal.) Blotting her brow with the back of her arm, she notices her sweat has grown as cold as ice water, for some reason—and does the satin of the bouquet seem colder now, too? Hmm. She sniffs the preserved beauty, breathing dirt & stale sweetness, pondering the trappings of quinceaneras and proms. The former, maybe, but definitely not the latter. She’s no rocket scientist, but Luanne’s pretty sure it’s too early in the year for prom, and besides. The flower offerings boys bring are generally for the wrist.

Teen-age Latinas tap-dance in her melon as the stretch between her and her destination closes, but when the rows of houses give way to allow for the spacious grounds allotted to Momma and her neighbors, her reverie breaks. Oh, snap. She’s gone and done it now. She’s forgotten to bring fresh flowers to Momma of any kind, roadside or otherwise, so preoccupied was she by her musings, and she’s quick to blame her forgetfulness on the heat instead of her habit of daydreaming. It isn’t as if Momma will chastise her for the blunder, but still. Where were her priorities at?

And who, for heaven’s sake, has come up behind her? Despite the daylight, she prickles with apprehension to notice another shadow has joined her own—a longer, taller and decidedly more insulated shadow, especially considering the heat—and her step quickens ever so perceptibly. She hadn’t taken her eyes off the road for more than a second; a second spent considering the flower beds that edge the grounds of Momma’s place, and goodness! Is he wearing a hoodie sweatshirt or something? Or is his head just Elephant-Man gigantic? Is it even a “he”? Luanne notes an elongated, mushroom-like quality to the trailing shadow, but doesn’t dare look back—Momma raised her right after all, and she has good manners—but it’s plain to see the stranger is easily twice her size. Its length of shaded reflection towers over hers, and she shivers, glancing briefly skyward to explain the sudden, all-enveloping chill, but sees no newly installed trees, awnings or outbuildings casting shade to account for the radical, temperature drop.

As she walks by the guard at the check-in kiosk, she jerks her chin in what she hopes is both a noticeable and an unnoticeable manner; depending on one’s perspective, to let the guard know she’s uncomfortable about the fellow behind her, and would he please check him out as he passes? A lot to try to convey in a simple nod, and apparently too much, since Mr. Stevenson barely glances up from the sports section as she clumsily steps over a speed bump. She could be as inanimate as his charges, for all he cared.

And the grounds crew is no help, either. Two, jump-suited Hispanics drive by in a golf cart loaded down with landscaping equipment, returning her wave and calling out to her in Spanish, but rolling out of sight behind an oleander bush before she’s remembered the word: hola. Well, who could blame her? The shadow is abreast of hers, now, and it’s positively unnerving is what it is, and at least five impossibly long seconds tick by before she’s plucked up enough courage to turn and address the stranger head on.

“Aren’t you hot in that–?” The question dies in her throat, and the sensation of coldness compounds, despite her truncated rhetoric. There’s no one there. (Even her bones are cold!) She glances down at the lawn, heart pounding hard enough to ruffle the fabric of her shirt. The cowled shadow is still there, large and in charge and altogether far too close to hers, and what’s more, it’s brandishing an object in its left hand she hadn’t noticed before. Huh. Is that a walking stick? A walking stick topped with a ridiculously, over-sized grip?

There’s no time to wonder. Luanne runs, the tread of her sneakers sticking to the lush sod that’s replaced the sidewalk beneath her feet, weighing her feet down with sudden soles of dirt and Marathon grass but she stumbles on, rounding the oleander bush the maintenance guys had disappeared behind just as the stick-wielding arm behind her swings.

Before her shadow can be safely swallowed by the pool of darkness cast by the oleander, an evanescent scythe slices its jugular area, separating her actual head from her actual body as neatly as the bouquet of dried flowers drops from her hands to adorn the unmarked headstone at her feet. Feet currently catapulting the business end of a fallen garden hoe to and through her throat, severing her head and shot-putting it outward like a streamered dead-weight. Cold jolts into her in a powerful, shifting force—as displaced earth in an earthquake might move, waving in ever-deepening layers, and now there’s a blinding, electric pain shooting across her neck, and she’s pitching. Her headless torso is pitching into the fresh-dug gravesite hidden by flora until a moment ago, and a final–necessarily fleeting—thought zips through her still pin-wheeling head:

It really is a perfect day to visit Momma.

 

 

daily prompt: with a twist

New Poem Out

My latest poem: Ferry Tale Endings is in this awesome anthology. Come buy a copy… available at Amazon

ferryman

“Charon. He’s the ferryman who carries the souls of the dead across the River Styx in the gloomy Greek underworld. Two coins pay his fee, but his work never ceases. In this collection of essays, fiction, poetry, and prayers, this often-neglected divine being is properly recognized and honored by modern polytheists. Mysterious and foreboding, Charon nevertheless waits for us all. Paying our respects while still living will put us in good standing when it comes time to cross the river.”

by Bibliotheca Alexandrina (press)   

Galina Krasskova (Compiler)         

 

 

Fairy Tale Hive Series Published!

Sir-John-Tenniels-drawing-of-The-Chessground-viewed-by-Alice-and-The-Red-Queen-from-the-Hilltop

Ahh, what a day. It’s full of all the proper “day things” already: minutes, possibly hours, definitely lap kitties, absolutely coffee, burgeoning sunrise—okay, okay, I am up early, due to aforementioned lap kitty—but best of all, it’s full of good news. My fav-O-write kind of good news, the kind that has to do with writing, and to get all crazy concise about it, the kind that has to do with poetry publications. Mine, yours, theirs, and ours, can we bang QWERTYs, chest bump monitors, get a ‘what-what’, and a ‘heeEEEEeey’, ’cause the Fairy Tale Hive (limerick) series has been printed in Bohemia’s latest journal! In its Through the Looking Glass entirety, blog-O-rabbits! Tall Alice has nuthin’ on me this morning, I tell you, even if she does feature in a couple of the dozen poems that link you through a fantastical re-imagining of Fairy Tale Heroes, Greek Gods, Zombies, Disney Characters & still others, wending their way through combs, homes, Hollywood, Vegas and the highest of seas !

soda pop sea

Gigantic Shout Out to editor in chief: Amanda Hixson.  Not only is she a submitter’s dream when it comes to communication, this first rate lady puts out a journal that redefines the term: journal, since Texas-based Bohemia Journal is an art form in itself. From the cover, to the contents, to the credits, each glossy page is printed on quality card stock, splashed with gorgeous graphics, and loaded with literary & visual art. It’s a regular brush-stroke of a journal, so beautifully is it ‘daubed’, and I’m as excited as I’ve ever been in my literary life to be included in it. Chickens, you know how much that series means/meant to me, and to have it accepted, presented and printed by such a great company just fills me to the brim with pride and pleasure. Like an overflowing potion bottle it’s okay to drink lots of!!

Bottle2

And with that heinous preppie ending, I’m out. Back to finishing Cyberland’s second book: The Screen Borrow. It’s coming along wonderfully well, and has more surprises than a Crackerjack sailor. Hell, he even makes a cameo….or does he?  Stay tuned for more 411, vis-à-vis, and here’s wishing each and every one of you fellow artists out there all the colors in the rainbow you can’t see…

Meantime click below to:

Buy Bohemia Journal!

http://issuu.com/verymandy/docs/october/95?e=5416326/5341067

Try Bohemia Journal!

Publishing Prose…

It’s been a good month for getting my author on. (did I really just type that…?) Gee-yawd. What I meant was: it’s been a good month for getting on my author. There. Don’t want to split infinitives, you know. My short fiction: Silent Night has been included in KY Story’s recent anthology: Scary Story, and it is. A freaky, little, Yuletide tale drawn from reality & that other place I go when reality is too much. Yes, I have a second home at that other place, and a breakfast sandwich named after me at the local cafe, but it’s good to have roots, and so planted am happy to extend the heartiest, Hitchcockian welcome from the base of creaking stairs. Asking you to come help me investigate what that strange sound in the basement was. So what  if it’s midnight, no one’s home, and pizza slices keep disappearing? If a phone breather has called repeatedly without telemarketing? Or even if your profile photo on facebook looks suspiciously like a  silhouette, because I’m generalizing about the anthology’s contents, of course—being ever mindful of the spoiler caveat—but the cobwebs are real.

Karen Robiscoe dba CHARRONs CHATTER

And not just wholly mine, several other skilled authors spin their webs of intrigue in this collection of hair-raisers, so what’re you waiting for? Skip the shower, and head on over! (I hear it doesn’t end well, anyway…)

Available in paperback at Amazon & Create Space:

Buy Scary Story!!

Try Scary Story!!

Authors:

Last Dawn–Katherine McMullen
Paradise, Lost–Kate Raynes
Fire of Faith–Cynthia Morrison
The Path of Dead Roses– Samantha Frazier Gordon
Christmas Story: Silent Night– Karen Robiscoe
The Wrinkled Duplex Halfway Up the Hill–Roger Leatherwood

Sited Elsewhere

 
 

Chef Gordon Ramsay: He’s Raw!!

3_chefs

Yahoo Voiceshttp://tinyurl.com/k7fzey5

Yoo-hoo! Oh Ya-hoo! Voices, to be specific, and here’s a link most chickens will enjoy. The assignment was to write off a TV show character from a currently running show—to fire him, so to speak—and since I was recently blasted by a marathon of the mercurial Gordon Ramsay dba Hell’s Kitchen, my ear drums and deliciously, offended sensibilities dictated  it was time to tell him to p*ss off & demand the return of his chef jacket. The article includes a few suggestions for his replacement, and since the “dinner show” runs 24/7, I hope you’ll come by & find out who I think is better suited to the toque.

 
 

Tuna Casserole with Albacore Recipe

a tuna

Hub Pageshttp://tinyurl.com/kufs5we

Toque-ing about food. Can you imagine how a spurned Ramsay might critique the above listed recipe? If his mien was mean before his hypothetical goose was cooked, the review would be off-the-charts heinous! More 4-letter than 4-star, and while I agree tuna casserole is about as remarkable as leftovers, this one is pretty good. It’s my latest addition to the recipe box over at CHARRON’s CHATTER Hub Pages, and it’s a featured HUB page, like all my recipe pages over there have been—yaaAAAAaayyy, and go figure—and besides. Casseroles are a go-to comfort food for all that they lack glamour, and some days, you just need a little comfort food.
 
 

Click here for the announcement of Empirical’s closing

you look a little blue...

you look a little blue…

Empirical Magazine—http://www.empiricalmagazine.com/

Like those days you click on the link to the magazine slated to publish 2 of your poems in 2 separate issues and discover they are shutting doors. Rolling up the welcome mat, and yanking the shingle. In the same way your chain feels yanked to find out that bit of personally relevant news in so impersonal a fashion. And by you, I mean me, and by magazine I mean Empirical, and it’s a shame, really. They looked like such a nice magazine when we first met, and then well…

a rain thing

Boo-hoo. What can you do…Besides prick voodoo dolls & draw pentagrams, I mean. I’ve taken some time to assimilate this bit o’ bad news—pretty much all of June—but if your neck feels rubbery, and you gots to get your car-crash-curiosity on, g’head and click on the above link to that PDF. An acronym meaning something entirely other than Portable Document File in this instance, I can tell you that, but I’ll save those wordplays for another day, because all is not lost…
 
 

Tossed & Found Published!

Bouquet I found when walking the other day that inspired the short fiction: Tossed & Found

Bouquet I found when walking the other day that inspired the short fiction: Tossed & Found

Dark Light 3http://tinyurl.com/knynhj9

Some stuff is in fact, found. Tossed & Found & published to booty-boot! Yes, Crushing Hearts & Black Butterfly press has published a flash fiction of mine in their latest anthology: Dark light 3, a collection of horror shorts published in all the formats you hear so much about—print, digital, Kindle and blood (Moo—hoo—hah—hah—hah—hah…um, lessee, 1 2 3 4….hah!) So that’s good thing, if not a Martha Stewart thing, and it’s selling like blood sausage over at Amazon for less than a buck. So, here’s hoping you surf over & check out the Anthology—and by check out I mean buy, and by BYE, I mean see you, because that’s all for now!
 
 

Thanks for reading,  Chicksters. I am off for a run…Join me virtually, if you want!

Click: 1000 Words

 
 

Where to Buy: What Happens in Vegas

Time for a little show & tell here at the CHATTER. The anthology featuring my twisted fiction: What Happens in Vegas has been released. Yep, despite rumors to the contrary, the events in Nevada CAN and DO cross state lines, and as noted in previous mentions, this story introduces the key players in my urban fantasy: SPIRITED REMIX. 

There are many fine works in this anthology, written by heavily pedigreed, award-winning authors,whose company I am frankly honored to be among.

A HOOOGE thank you to those who stop by and pick up a copy. Down to my last pack of Ramen Noodles, we authors need your support!

cover-art-pstd-3-feb-26-version-2

PstD can be ordered directly from the creators of Postscripts to Darkness. Email postscripts2darkness@gmail.com. Books are $10 CAD each, and shipping rates (regular surface parcel, in bubble-wrap envelopes) are as follows:

$5 for 1 book, $8 for 2 books for Canadian and US orders
$15 shipping/handling for 1 or 2 books for UK orders
$12 shipping/handling for 1 or 2 books for Australian orders

For other international orders, please email a query first so we can check on shipping costs.

All fees can be paid using PayPal through postscripts2darkness@gmail.com.

If you’re a bookseller interested in carrying copies of the book to sell, please drop us a line at postscripts2darkness@gmail.com.

Books are also available at the following fine, independently owned and eminently support-worthy stores:

Ottawa, ON:

AllBooks (327 Rideau St.), Black Squirrel Books (508 Bank St.), The Comic Book Shoppe (228 Bank St.), The Invisible Cinema (319 Lisgar St.), Octopus Books (116 Third Ave.)

Kingston, ON:
4 Colour, 8 Bit Comics (208 Wellington St.), Novel Idea (156 Princess St.)